Coffee and Weddings

Sorry I didn’t post yesterday! I was in Madurai all day interviewing people for my animal welfare feature. I left at about eight in the morning with Mutu, my translator, and Nigel, another journalist from England. We had breakfast at a little outdoor café across the street from the office. I’ve gotten quite used to speaking in broken English/a few words in Tamil and having absolutely no one understand me. I had a funny moment yesterday when I ordered black coffee (said more like blackcoffee—the faster you say it, the better). Instead of getting my usual breakfast caffeine fix, I got three fried bananas (black coffee must sound similar to fried bananas in Tamil). Anyway, I couldn’t stop laughing and the waiter just stood there with this baffled look on his face. I ended up just eating the bananas and drinking water—a much healthier option in my opinion. 

We passed at least four marriage ceremonies/receptions on our way to Madurai yesterday. According to Mutu, yesterday was the “lucky” day to get married. The majority of the marriages are arranged, and the wedding is often the fist time the couple sees one another. I could really go on forever about how much I disagree with arranged marriages but I’ll try not to rant for too long. Many argue that it’s tradition (as one man put it, “we’ve been doing this for longer than your country has even existed”). Us Americans get these sorts of comments about “having no history” quite a bit when we’re abroad. But I don’t believe that “tradition” is a plausible excuse. Female circumcision is “tradition,” Sati (the Hindu practice of widow burning which is now outlawed) was “tradition.” The “tradition” needs to change. I look at it as a way to severely oppress women and as a way to keep people in their proper social caste. More simply, it goes against every law in nature.

Anyway, I got to see a little bit of a wedding reception with Alisha and Friederika. We heard loud music two nights ago by the office so Ambika (a feisty and independent woman who works for Projects Abroad) took us to see where the music was coming from. The family ended up inviting us to the wedding reception! Ambika took us to a gift shop where we all got little trinkets and chocolates (about 200 rupees each). I got this little glass ball with two doves in it that said “Best of Luck.” Cheesy, but it’s the thought that counts after all. The wedding ceremony was at six in the morning (can you imagine?) and then the reception was at seven. The reception was under a pavilion outside—just gorgeously inundated with bright colors, flowers, and spices. I felt hideously out of place in my Western boy trousers and button up shirt. A live marching band came in behind the bride and the groom and it kind of reminded me of the many parades that I’ve been in (sort of looked like a junior high marching band, completely out of step, but happy nonetheless). A little girl named Pooja (about 14 with the maturity of a 20 year old) took us under her wing. She was best friends with the groom’s sister and despite her limitless knowledge of wedding etiquette and procedure, she quickly informed us that she “did NOT want to get married.” At 14, she had impeccable English—this is quite uncommon because Sivakasi is a small village. She wants to study in England and if she “ever gets married”(she rolled her eyes when she said the word married), she wants a ‘love marriage.’ It’s both refreshing and disheartening for me to see such strong-minded women in a society that shuns such attitudes. I hope she can get a scholarship to university so she can live a life that she chooses—a life I’ve taken for granted without ever thinking about how lucky I truly am. 

Okay, my next post will cover my interviews in Madurai, my extremely interesting bus experience, my trip to Bangalore, and my trip to a wildlife reserve this weekend! I will also post pictures!